Day 25: Playing BDSM

Paul begged for it harder. Danny gave it to him (Kele Moon) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Talking about scenes and creating consent

Yesterday you created three different scene outlines for BDSM scenes, one focusing mostly on sensation, one on power and a third one according to what you like. The focus today will be to focus more on one of the scenes and create the appropriate consent and negotiate the scene. Particularly with BDSM, but also with other sex play, negotiating, imagining and designing the scene can be a major turn on for the people involved. Hence, don’t underestimate the power of scene planning!

If you are doing this workshop with a regular partner, then you should involve him at this stage. As a first step, share the scenes you both created and select one of the six to work on. If you are doing this workshop alone,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
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ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 24: Exploring BDSM

Right on the edge of fear was where trust could grow (Cherise Sinclair) Click To Tweet
Today’s objective: Find out more about how BDSM can become part of your sex life.

BDSM, Bondage, Domination, Submission/Sadism and Masochism, can at first seem scary to some people, mostly because it is largely misunderstood and misrepresented. Often it is portrayed as extreme forms of dominance and submission, though in reality, it often is much tamer and consensual than it appears at first. So, cast your preconceptions aside, and think of it as a way of fulfilling all sorts of fantasies, including some you would probably not have thought of as being BDSM… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 16: Emergency Stops

Stop. Breathe. Ecstasy. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Learn “emergency stop” techniques to avoid ejaculation

Breathing, as practiced yesterday, is very effective to delay ejaculation to a stage where you are well into ecstasy territory and with some training it should become a natural way to have multiple orgasms for a man. However, it is possible that occasionally you need to apply an emergency stop, quite literally. The problem with this is that an emergency stop is quite abrupt, so it really ends the sex you are having for a bit. For some guys this is a problem as some loose their erection over this. Therefore, breathing and the microcosmic orbit are preferable as they are continuous and doesn’t stop the flow. However, if you plan to continue, it is better to stop rather than ejaculate and end the sex.

There are two fairly easy to learn techniques for an emergency stop. I’d suggest that you try both them out as part of today’s activity on your own first. Like that you know how it feels.

The first one is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 15: Taoist Breathing, the Microcosmic Orbit

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished (Lao Tsu) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Learn to breathe to prolong sex without ejaculation

While you were performing yesterday’s activity, you might have noticed the crucial role that breathing has when you are close to cuming. Many guys speed up their breath when they are approaching orgasm, some hold their breath immediately before. As during Taoist sex you try to avoid ejaculation (but not orgasm) you can use breath as a way to control you. The most basic way is to intentionally breathe slowly and regularly. For some guys slowing down the breathing is enough to bump you over the line between orgasm and ejaculation, meaning that you are entering into a state of ecstasy without ejaculating. As a participant describes this stage: “It all seems quite the usual stuff until I get to this point where I get really close. After breathing, the feeling totally changes. It then feels as if I’m in trance or a different state and I can go on and on for a while before I have to stop and calm down for a while”.

While you can simply breathe deeply and slowly as a way to delay ejaculation, a different way is what Taoists call using the “Microcosmic Orbit”:… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 14: Edge yourself

Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Understand the logic of “non-ejaculation”

If cuming, as a way of saying ejaculation, sounds like the best thing in sex to you… you are not alone: I reckon 99% of males think exactly that. The problem? Most men learn from puberty onwards that ejaculation and orgasm are the same. And that means you can’t have multiple orgasms immediately after each other. But… luckily that is simply not true. It just requires a bit of unlearning to figure out how to orgasm multiple times…

Most of the ancient techniques that teach men how to orgasm multiple times come from China, or more specifically from the Taoist teachings about sex. We will explore a bit more of these teachings over the next few days. Taoist views of sex are very different from the views mostly held in the “West”, which actually makes Taoist teachings about sex fairly sex-positive.

One of the key principles of Taoism is the reliance on different forms of energy. The most precious one? Jing (精), or sexual energy and essence, which is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 13: Wanking and Masturbation

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love. (Woody Allen as Alvie Singer) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Celebrate having sex with yourself

Wanking or masturbation is a tricky topic for many, riddled with shame and guilt. Many people grow up to associate masturbation as an inferior replacement to having sex with someone else. Or worse, that having sex with yourself is deeply connected to evil, lust and sin, and therefore a ticket to go to hell straightaway. The problem with all of this? You’re missing out on having sex with the one person who totally understands you, is always horny when you are… and knows exactly how to make you feel right. At least if… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 12: Talking and Negotiating Consent

Sexual consent: I want you to … talk to me! Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Negotiating consent

Yesterday’s activity asked you to start negotiating consent, at least on a fictional level. Let’s recap quickly how consent works. Here are the five golden rules of consent:

1. If anything is ambiguous, stop it and don’t go any further.
2. Acting sexy, being naked, in a place where sex occurs, sexually active with someone else etc… all of this is not consent for you.
3. If either party can’t fully consent (under influence of alcohol, drugs, under age, unaware of the risks, etc..), there is no consent.
4. A previous consent does not mean a present consent – even in a relationship.
5. All boundaries are hard rules and not negotiable guidelines.

Many of these rules should be self evident, however,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 11: Consent

No means no. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Exploring how to seek and give consent.

Within the sex positive community seeking and giving consent is an important topic. Being sex positive doesn’t mean you have you are always willing to have sex. It means you are seeking the sex you want – and giving the sex you and your partners want to share. In the straight community sexual consent has become an increasingly important topic, while sadly in the gay community it is (at least at an explicit level) still often overlooked.

[End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 10: Let’s talk about sex

Sex is good but sex can be great! Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Explore how to talk about sex with your partner.

Talking about sex is a difficult subject for many guys, at least when it means talking to your actual partner(s). While many guys find it relatively easy to express their wishes to strangers or on hookup apps, talking to their longer-term partner is a real sticking point; with potentially relationship damaging consequences. After researchers based in Canada had looked at different couples over nearly a thirty year period, their conclusions were daunting: even in long-term relationships, what sexual partners thought about what turned each other on, had fairly little to do with what they actually liked. Rather it was a reflection of their own sexual stereotypes.

Why do so many guys keep quiet? Shame, embarrassment, rejection, blame, confusion, jealousy … all seem to play a role when it comes to avoiding talking. The result though is that many couples avoid the talk – and either suffer, or sometimes decide to seek sex elsewhere. I have come across many similar stories like this one; for example:

[End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 9: Sexual Learning

Learning is an experience. Everything else is just information. (Albert Einstein) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Outline your sexual learning

As the saying goes… What’s better than learning? More learning! You have now started the first steps on the most fun and satisfying journey you can take. And, after the planning and outlining a journey destination yesterday, it is now time to find out what there is to discover. In other words, today will be all about making your personal, sexual learning plan.

Why is learning so important? For a start, even if you know everything there is to know about sex today… tomorrow you’d have something else to learn. But not just that: imagine the many aspects of sex you may have no idea about until now. It maybe that the best sex ever is just a short learning trip away. In fact,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here: