Day 22: Toys and Accessories

What do you keep in your bedside table? Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Think about how toys and accessories can spice up your sex life.

Toys and accessories can bring completely new experiences to whatever sex life you choose to have. And the number of different gadgets, gizmos and gimmicks available are pretty infinite. Yet, with all that variety, many toys get banned into the uncomfortable position of replacements for the real thing, a bit like masturbation. Which is a real shame, as they can enhance any play: alone, as a couple or a group. So, maybe it is time to liberate those devices and brig them centre stage.

You probably have a fairly good idea what kind of devices are available. At least the classic toys, such as dildos, hand cuffs, cock rings and harnesses etc… Maybe you have already experimented with some of them or have some at home. Maybe some are old, or maybe some are new. Whatever you already have, ignore for today. The point of today is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

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ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 17: Taoist Sex and the PC Muscle

Seeking balance through Yin and Yang Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Explore Taoist views and strengthen your PC muscle

The last three days we focused on ideas born within the tradition of Taoism. Today the focus is on expanding a little beyond the techniques and see how Taoism views sexuality – including gay sex.

The basic premise of all sex in Taoism is the balance of yin, the female force, and yang, the male force. Taoism believes that when two people have sex with each other, they charge each: so for two men, two yang meet each other. The result is more sexual energy. Something which makes balancing the energy with your body more important.

Another aspect of the yin and yang or balancing principle of Taoism is the assertion that whomever is top… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 15: Taoist Breathing, the Microcosmic Orbit

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished (Lao Tsu) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Learn to breathe to prolong sex without ejaculation

While you were performing yesterday’s activity, you might have noticed the crucial role that breathing has when you are close to cuming. Many guys speed up their breath when they are approaching orgasm, some hold their breath immediately before. As during Taoist sex you try to avoid ejaculation (but not orgasm) you can use breath as a way to control you. The most basic way is to intentionally breathe slowly and regularly. For some guys slowing down the breathing is enough to bump you over the line between orgasm and ejaculation, meaning that you are entering into a state of ecstasy without ejaculating. As a participant describes this stage: “It all seems quite the usual stuff until I get to this point where I get really close. After breathing, the feeling totally changes. It then feels as if I’m in trance or a different state and I can go on and on for a while before I have to stop and calm down for a while”.

While you can simply breathe deeply and slowly as a way to delay ejaculation, a different way is what Taoists call using the “Microcosmic Orbit”:… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
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Day 13: Wanking and Masturbation

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love. (Woody Allen as Alvie Singer) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Celebrate having sex with yourself

Wanking or masturbation is a tricky topic for many, riddled with shame and guilt. Many people grow up to associate masturbation as an inferior replacement to having sex with someone else. Or worse, that having sex with yourself is deeply connected to evil, lust and sin, and therefore a ticket to go to hell straightaway. The problem with all of this? You’re missing out on having sex with the one person who totally understands you, is always horny when you are… and knows exactly how to make you feel right. At least if… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 11: Consent

No means no. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Exploring how to seek and give consent.

Within the sex positive community seeking and giving consent is an important topic. Being sex positive doesn’t mean you have you are always willing to have sex. It means you are seeking the sex you want – and giving the sex you and your partners want to share. In the straight community sexual consent has become an increasingly important topic, while sadly in the gay community it is (at least at an explicit level) still often overlooked.

[End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 10: Let’s talk about sex

Sex is good but sex can be great! Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Explore how to talk about sex with your partner.

Talking about sex is a difficult subject for many guys, at least when it means talking to your actual partner(s). While many guys find it relatively easy to express their wishes to strangers or on hookup apps, talking to their longer-term partner is a real sticking point; with potentially relationship damaging consequences. After researchers based in Canada had looked at different couples over nearly a thirty year period, their conclusions were daunting: even in long-term relationships, what sexual partners thought about what turned each other on, had fairly little to do with what they actually liked. Rather it was a reflection of their own sexual stereotypes.

Why do so many guys keep quiet? Shame, embarrassment, rejection, blame, confusion, jealousy … all seem to play a role when it comes to avoiding talking. The result though is that many couples avoid the talk – and either suffer, or sometimes decide to seek sex elsewhere. I have come across many similar stories like this one; for example:

[End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 9: Sexual Learning

Learning is an experience. Everything else is just information. (Albert Einstein) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Outline your sexual learning

As the saying goes… What’s better than learning? More learning! You have now started the first steps on the most fun and satisfying journey you can take. And, after the planning and outlining a journey destination yesterday, it is now time to find out what there is to discover. In other words, today will be all about making your personal, sexual learning plan.

Why is learning so important? For a start, even if you know everything there is to know about sex today… tomorrow you’d have something else to learn. But not just that: imagine the many aspects of sex you may have no idea about until now. It maybe that the best sex ever is just a short learning trip away. In fact,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 8: Owning your sex

Knowing what you want and knowing where you go. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Own your sexual journey

A key principle of sex positivism is owning your sex: which means taking ownership of the sex you have, the sex you want to share and your sexual explorations and discoveries. It also means that nobody should restrict the sex you choose to have and that you are responsible for the sex you engage in (or not, of course!). This, lets face it, sounds like a big responsibility… especially if sex was something that “just happenes”, like it is to many people.

One of the participants in the workshop commented on this activity: “I found this really quite challenging. I never really actively thought about the sex that I wanted to have. Sure, I knew of a few fantasies and I knew what kind of positions I liked. But really sitting down and writing down a sexual vision for me felt like a massive challenge”. He… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 7: Writing your own sexual script

I write my own sex scenes. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Ignite your fantasy!

Yesterday was about sexual scripts running in our head. The main positive effect, of course, is that these scripts help you not to think about what is the next step while having sex: as you are working through a routine – you can easily concentrate on the feelings and sensations at the moment, without having to worry about what comes next.

The best way of helping you break out of any routines you have, is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 6: Sexual Routines

I remember the first time I had sex, I kept the recipe. (Groucho Marx) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Identify your sexual routines

Let’s get ready to have some sex! What will you do? … Sounds a bit like a cheeky question? Of course, it is. But it also reveals a little hidden secret to unlocking greater sexual discovery. When I asked the question you most likely had one or even a few possible “story lines” of what could happen flash up in your mind. Those story lines, buried inside you and almost never challenged are your sexual routines. They help you to have sex: because you know what you’re doing, you don’t have to start thinking about it again. In other words, they help you play the play.

Of course, sex where you are free to focus on your feeling at the moment is better than sex where you have to figure out what you have to do. You basically have all your sensations freed up by sticking to a set of scripts you know have ‘worked’ before. However,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here: