Day 4: Fear

I’m not afraid of storms for I’m learning how to sail my ship. (Louisa May Alcott) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Recognise the role of fear in promoting a sex negative environment.

Today we are looking at the second powerful tool used to promote and maintain a sex negative environment: fear. Of course, you’d be right in saying that shame is also often a particular type of fear (that is to say, fear of negative judgement by others). But sex negative societies also often use more overt fear appeals when it comes to maintaining their ideas of what is the “right” kind of sex, and the wrong kind of sex. It is important to remember that fear can also be used to maintain the ‘correct’ frequency of sex, which is a sign of sex negative societies: that is to say fear can be used both to increase and decrease sexual frequency as well as type of sex, depending on who uses it.

The most obvious examples of this approach are ‘sex education’ programmes promoting abstinence, often… [End of preview]

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Day 2: Sex Negativity

Owning or being owned. That is the question here. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Learn about Sex Negativity both in the environment as well as in the way we talk to ourselves.

Yesterday I said that the key to sexual happiness lies in adopting a sex positive attitude. I also said that most societies (and individuals!) are sex negative, and many people internalise this negativity.  The terms are a little confusing though, as sex negative doesn’t mean that there is no sex (or sex positivity that sex is everywhere). What it means is that in sex negative societies sex is subject to lots of interference and regulation from ‘social norms’. That is to say, either the society, or the individual who holds sex negative views, has fairly rigid views about what is acceptable and what is not. The root to this is that sex is seen as something negative, shameful, that can hurt or somehow distract you from ‘real life’.  It becomes overloaded with fear, shame and guilt. At the same time, sex is also seen as necessary,