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Welcome to 30 Days for Self-love!

Welcome to the 30 Days Self-Love! Starting on the 1 May and over the next 30 days this program will focus on developing and fostering your self-love, as loving yourself is probably the most important thing you can do. Without loving yourself, it is hard to develop and keep good relationships, stick up for yourself and support others. But loving yourself is not as easy as it sounds: with the stresses of modern, daily life, especially as gay men, it is hard to find time and motivation to look at yourself and see how beautiful you really are. But not […]

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Day 3: Kindness

Today’s objective: Identify the key role kindness can play in developing self-love – and love for others. The next of the five mental tools to develop self-love is kindness, both for yourself as well as for others. While gratitude is traditionally mostly concerned with what you receive, the other four, including kindness are, in fact, two way streets: they have the amazing ability of being positive both ways – when used towards yourself as well as towards others. But what exactly counts as kindness? Kindness is notoriously hard to define: It can be doing something “kind”, like running an errand […]

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Day 4: Self-Care

Today’s objective: Understanding that caring for yourself and others go hand in hand. Regularly caring for yourself can seem like it is selfish. It also seems a contradiction to helping others: but it isn’t. At least not, if it is practiced in a way that is balanced with helping others (which in turn is a really great impetus for self-love). In fact, when self-care is exercised as balanced activity, it makes sure you have the power and ability to help others. Thus, it is an essential part of caring for others – and critical for maintaining you in a healthy […]

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Day 10: Relaxing

Today’s objective: Appreciate the importance of relaxation and scheduling small, short relaxation exercises into the daily routine. On day 4 we already briefly touched on relaxation as an important part of self-care. Not relaxing will leave you stressed, cranky, unproductive, unable to deal with every day problems – and actually less able to take care of both yourself and others. Therefore, even though it might sound paradoxical, if you don’t have time to relax, is probably the time you need to make relaxation a priority. Relaxing doesn’t need to come in the form of a long holiday. In fact, it […]

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Day 9: Friends

Today’s objective: Reflecting on the role of friendships and taking stock of your friends. Friends and friendships are probably the most important asset when it comes to loving yourself and loving others: the time spend with people who really are your friends can be the most curative time. But all too often, friendships are left behind when life is busy or friendships are relegated to the few minutes you have between other things to do. End of the preview. “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” The full workshop with all activities […]

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Coming soon on urbangay

Ready for more? Great! Because there is some great new and free stuff coming up on urbangay! All you need to do… is be there! If you haven’t looked at the upcoming “30 day” series coming up, have a look here. And the first one will start next Monday – so here is a sneak preview of what you can expect from Self love: body, mind, soul ! The gay scene and modern gay life can be a hard place to love yourself. Much is about competition, being better and sadly, little is about recognising just how amazing you as […]

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Making changes? Top 5 tips to keep on track!

If you read self-help advice or websites on how to make changes in your life, it often seems that change is fast and easy. But once anyone embarks on making changes, they quickly realise that things don’t go quite as quickly as planned. So it is really important to remember, when you make changes to your life, give yourself time for change to happen. You will have setbacks, you may even loose all motivation for a while. But that is just a sign that you are on the right track: it may feel like not making much progress, but you […]

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Touch, Hug, Cuddle for instant magic

We have become a pretty touch-phobic society: touching someone has become almost exclusively reserved to sexual touch. Ironically, touch can communicate many more emotions: anger, fear, disgust, love, gratitude, sympathy, happiness, and sadness. And a lack of touch (let alone hugging and cuddling) can make us really seriously ill. But we don’t have to look just at the negative effects of not-touching. There are great reasons for including touch in your relationship – and many don’t have to be sexual at all, of course. In fact, non-sexual touching, hugging and even cuddling in particular can have a massively positive effect […]

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4 little Happiness Rituals

A friend recently shared this article about 4 “rituals” to make you happy as seen by a neuroscientist on Facebook.  As I read through it, I was really glad to see how this scientific view supports what I’m doing here together with you guys – as part of the bootcamp and as part of the upcoming “30 Days for…” series. Let’s see what the scientist said: 4 simple strategies to make you happy: 1. Practice gratitude 2. Label negative feelings 3. Make that decision 4. Touch people 1. Practice gratitude Day 19 of the bootcamp was all about that. But […]

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Day 31: Sustaining the progress from the bootcamp

Wow! Well done you on completing 30 days of the bootcamp! This is amazing! We have touched on so many things over the last month, I’m sure it was quite a ride! Remember to check back in and pick out the good parts that you feel were particularly beneficial for you. It would also be great to hear from you which parts you enjoyed most! New: urbangay now has a community function – so please take the time and share your experiences there! If you haven’t checked out the next “30 day” programs, have a look. Each program will pick […]

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