Day 10: Relaxing

Today’s objective: Appreciate the importance of relaxation and scheduling small, short relaxation exercises into the daily routine. On day 4 we already briefly touched on relaxation as an important part of self-care. Not relaxing will leave you stressed, cranky, unproductive, unable to deal with every day problems – and actually less able to take care of both yourself and others. Therefore, even though it might sound paradoxical, if you don’t have time to relax, is probably the time you need to make relaxation a priority. Relaxing doesn’t need to come in the form of a long holiday. In fact, it […]

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Interview with urbangay founder Stephan

Tell us a bit more about the idea behind urbangay? Urbangay is really an invitation to pause and build an individual philosophy about your life and your sexuality. As such it is collection of different tools and ideas to help live happier and more purposeful lives for gay men. In some ways, I guess, it is about finding a positive response to the often toxic environment in which gay men live. It combines both life-coaching and sexuality skills and tools to help guys create the life and sexuality they really want: a place where they can fully live and be […]

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Day 20: Stress Reduction

Stress remains one of the main causes of health problems in our society today: from heart disease, depression, cancer to erectile disfunction… many health problems are either caused by stress or are made significantly worse by stress. But not just health suffers: decision making under stress is notoriously bad and flawed. Over the nearly three weeks of the bootcamp, you probably have noticed how quieting the mind can actually lead to much better outcomes. You may also have noticed how your mind has started to quiet down as a result of the practice and training to focus. The success of […]

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Day 15: Erotic Meditation – Meditation for Sex

Now that you have the power to bring your mind to where you want it to be, either in the present or in a place or space of your choosing, it is time to try and have a fun day before we move on and apply all of the learned techniques for different aspects of (urban gay) life. For today I have two different types of meditation/hypnosis for you. If you have the time, maybe experiment with both, or do one today and then comeback to this later. One is meditation/hypnosis session to achieve orgasm (or a feeling of it, […]

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Day 14: Meditation as a tool for change – Affirmations

Today’s activity is around affirmations. It’s not strictly speaking meditation nor hypnosis, but something that can “switch” your mind to a different mood. If you are skeptical at this moment, you are probably not alone. But give it a try and see if you feel any effect. The good thing about affirmations is that they tend to be quick and easy ways to stop negative thoughts or even a negative mindset and focus on something positive. You can therefore use them as a tool in everyday life – or use them more long-term as a way to train your mind […]

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Day 13: Meditating for relaxation

Today’s activity is a relaxation meditation/hypnosis. The actual track is from Michael Sealey. I really like the way he conducts his guided meditations/self-hypnosis sessions – and he has a really calming and soothing voice (IMHO). For today, try and ease yourself into a relaxing state with this session. If you like his works, you can find many of his recordings not just on his extremely popular YouTube channel, but his recordings are also available on Google Play, iTunes, Spotify and many more platforms. He also has some sleep meditation sessions, if you want to go to sleep immediately after finishing […]

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Day 12: The basics of Meditation

Today we are moving on from mindfulness, that is to say bringing our mind to the here and now and to observe the present, to more actively engaging the mind in the way we want the mind to do. This is a subtle difference. Previously I said: Meditation is a silent, stationary activity with a purpose (often focusing on training the mind to do something). This means to actively engage the mind to examine a chosen object (feeling, emotion, sensation…), or the “meditation object”. This can be something very similar to mindfulness, for example when focusing the mind on the […]

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Day 6: Daily life as mindfulness practice

Yesterday you started to focus your mind by using your breath as a way to stop the mind from wandering. You can repeat the exercise every day, especially when you have a quiet space and are able to come inside you. Today, however, we add a little extra to the same exercise, by integrating additional, easy mindfulness training into every day life. Think about how much time you spend during the day just being idle: waiting for a train for example. Waiting for your coffee. Waiting at the supermarket check-out. There are many times in a day you are likely […]

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Day 5: Breathing

After completing the two mindfulness exercises yesterday, you may have noticed how difficult it is to keep the mind focused and switch from mindless to mindful activity – especially when the activity is relatively quiet. Luckily though, there is an activity we perform all the time, which we can use to focus the mind: breathing. Normally breathing is, of course, very much an autopilot exercise: we hardly ever think about taking a breath, unless the situation is very particularly: a stressful situation for example. However, breathing is as close at you can get to perfect for focusing a wandering mind: […]

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Day 3: The Urbangay Manifesto

As said yesterday… today we will talk about some basic rules to make the bootcamp work – and some more overarching principles for the urbangay lifestyle. To start off, here are the three simple rules for the next few days. The rules are not there to make things complicated – and I don’t think they are overly complicated. Instead, they are designed to be easy, simple and to help you get the most out of the bootcamp experience, for you and for everyone else who is ‘bootcamping’. 1) You can only fail if you give up. This is hopefully pretty […]

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