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Three reasons to get active for every gay man

A guest post by Paul, who is the curator for the @urbangay twitter this week, follow him, interact and talk to him on twitter until Sunday! This week I’m taking over the @urbangay twitter account for a week. My interest is mainly in being healthy and active, and I think it is something really important. Not just because of the obvious and well-known health reasons (and making for better sex!). But there are three more reasons why it is especially important for gay men. Here they are: 1) It’s great to make you feel good Engaging in sports and eating […]

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Welcome to 30 Days for Self-love!

Welcome to the 30 Days Self-Love! Starting on the 1 May and over the next 30 days this program will focus on developing and fostering your self-love, as loving yourself is probably the most important thing you can do. Without loving yourself, it is hard to develop and keep good relationships, stick up for yourself and support others. But loving yourself is not as easy as it sounds: with the stresses of modern, daily life, especially as gay men, it is hard to find time and motivation to look at yourself and see how beautiful you really are. But not […]

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Day 1: Self-love basics

Today’s objective: Understand the concept of self-love and how it relates to self-confidence and self-esteem. Today let’s start with the very basics of the program: looking at the three concepts which are often confused when it comes to how we relate to ourselves: self-confidence, self-esteem – and the idea of self-love. Of course, it is true to say that all three are inter-connected. But it is very important to figure out the differences to achieve actual self-love. To do this, I’ll first look briefly at the very traditional concepts of self-confidence and self-esteem – and then show how self-love relates […]

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Day 29: Gains and Progress

Today’s objective: Review the personal journey you have made over the course of this program. Well done on reaching almost the end of the 30 day program! Before we review all of the key messages of the 30 days tomorrow, today is your opportunity of reviewing your immense personal journey that you have made. The most important thing is now that you keep up the great work that you have started. Making changes is never an easy process. You were probably used to doing things and seeing yourself in the old way for a very “I went from questioning myself […]

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Day 28: Coping Statements

Today’s objective: Identify a series of coping statements As the final step in building ways to deal with potential setbacks or problem situations on your way to a happier and more self-loving person, today’s focus will be on developing a set of coping statements. Coping statements are small, supportive sayings, ideas or quotes that help you through tough times. They are an example of positive self-talk, which you can recall when a situation gets challenging. There is really no “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” The full workshop with all activities […]

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Day 13: Smile

Today’s objective: Remind yourself of the power you have to make yourself and others happy by smiling. Yesterday you already experimented with the power of changing your feelings and emotions through postures, gestures and facial expressions. While yesterday we mostly focused on the effect it has on you, today we try and expand the circle a little – and focus on the effect changing the way you act can have on others. You know the saying: “When I smile, the world smiles back.” Today is the day to put that into action. There are, of course, many reasons to smile. […]

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Day 8: Reframing

Today’s objective: Learning the powerful tool of reframing minor irritations as opportunities for improvement and positivity. After completing the section on the main “tools” for self-love: gratitude, kindness, caring, forgiving and generosity – and the main outcome, positivity, today we start to put these into action with an exercise that starts to challenge self-loathing behaviour and assumptions – and replaces them with self-loving and also often more realistic ideas. The idea behind the exercise today is to train the mind to “reframe” minor negative events End of the preview. “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love […]

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Coming soon on urbangay

Ready for more? Great! Because there is some great new and free stuff coming up on urbangay! All you need to do… is be there! If you haven’t looked at the upcoming “30 day” series coming up, have a look here. And the first one will start next Monday – so here is a sneak preview of what you can expect from Self love: body, mind, soul ! The gay scene and modern gay life can be a hard place to love yourself. Much is about competition, being better and sadly, little is about recognising just how amazing you as […]

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4 little Happiness Rituals

A friend recently shared this article about 4 “rituals” to make you happy as seen by a neuroscientist on Facebook.  As I read through it, I was really glad to see how this scientific view supports what I’m doing here together with you guys – as part of the bootcamp and as part of the upcoming “30 Days for…” series. Let’s see what the scientist said: 4 simple strategies to make you happy: 1. Practice gratitude 2. Label negative feelings 3. Make that decision 4. Touch people 1. Practice gratitude Day 19 of the bootcamp was all about that. But […]

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Day 31: Sustaining the progress from the bootcamp

Wow! Well done you on completing 30 days of the bootcamp! This is amazing! We have touched on so many things over the last month, I’m sure it was quite a ride! Remember to check back in and pick out the good parts that you feel were particularly beneficial for you. It would also be great to hear from you which parts you enjoyed most! New: urbangay now has a community function – so please take the time and share your experiences there! If you haven’t checked out the next “30 day” programs, have a look. Each program will pick […]

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