Day 27: Jealousy

Jealousy is the fear of comparison. (Max Frisch) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Identify and talk about jealousy

It is impossible to talk about sex, and adopting a sex positive attitude without also considering at least briefly jealousy. Of course, some people are more jealous than others, and some people even assume that jealousy is a sign of love. Some psychologists have identified jealousy to plague around a third of partnerships, often with disastrous results for the relationship.

Most people feel jealous once in a while – or they think they will be jealous. A little observation: many people who go as a couple to a sex workshop assume that they will feel jealous. Often many requests that they can work exclusively together… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 26: Playing in public or outside

Liberate your sex life: play outside. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Think about playing… in public or outside

So far this workshop has focused mostly on the “technical” aspects of sex: that is to say one thing that the workshop hasn’t focused on, is where to play… However, exploring different options can create lots of excitement and add a lot of spice to your sex life.

Gay culture is, of course, full of public places where sex between men happens: parks, toilets and beaches for example. Sex bars, clubs, darkrooms and saunas also have a lot of public play spaces. Yet, it is an interesting observation, that many guys prefer to play “in private” once they are partnered. And while privacy may be a great argument to play at home, it deprives the couple (or even single guys who choose to hookup at home) many possible fun play spaces – and not just commercial ones.

“Once you think about going outside of the home playing gets very adventurous” is what one participant remarks after completing the workshop. “Suddenly you start to think of lots of places where you could have sex. And that’s quite hot.” Especially, if you are… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

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Day 25: Playing BDSM

Paul begged for it harder. Danny gave it to him (Kele Moon) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Talking about scenes and creating consent

Yesterday you created three different scene outlines for BDSM scenes, one focusing mostly on sensation, one on power and a third one according to what you like. The focus today will be to focus more on one of the scenes and create the appropriate consent and negotiate the scene. Particularly with BDSM, but also with other sex play, negotiating, imagining and designing the scene can be a major turn on for the people involved. Hence, don’t underestimate the power of scene planning!

If you are doing this workshop with a regular partner, then you should involve him at this stage. As a first step, share the scenes you both created and select one of the six to work on. If you are doing this workshop alone,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 24: Exploring BDSM

Right on the edge of fear was where trust could grow (Cherise Sinclair) Click To Tweet
Today’s objective: Find out more about how BDSM can become part of your sex life.

BDSM, Bondage, Domination, Submission/Sadism and Masochism, can at first seem scary to some people, mostly because it is largely misunderstood and misrepresented. Often it is portrayed as extreme forms of dominance and submission, though in reality, it often is much tamer and consensual than it appears at first. So, cast your preconceptions aside, and think of it as a way of fulfilling all sorts of fantasies, including some you would probably not have thought of as being BDSM… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 23: Playing with Toys

Can you really enjoy playing all without toys? Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Create a toy play scene

Yesterday you should have created a wish-list of three toys or accessories by visiting a sex shop. Probably, you have already imagined how you could use these: either alone or maybe with someone else. Today is the day to bring using one of them to live…

The objective today is to create a scene where you use one of the three toys from your wish-list – but involving another person. If you are doing this workshop alone, then think about the scene and how you’d use the toy on someone else – or have it used on you by someone.

If you are doing the workshop with a partner, vary the activity for today a little:… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 22: Toys and Accessories

What do you keep in your bedside table? Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Think about how toys and accessories can spice up your sex life.

Toys and accessories can bring completely new experiences to whatever sex life you choose to have. And the number of different gadgets, gizmos and gimmicks available are pretty infinite. Yet, with all that variety, many toys get banned into the uncomfortable position of replacements for the real thing, a bit like masturbation. Which is a real shame, as they can enhance any play: alone, as a couple or a group. So, maybe it is time to liberate those devices and brig them centre stage.

You probably have a fairly good idea what kind of devices are available. At least the classic toys, such as dildos, hand cuffs, cock rings and harnesses etc… Maybe you have already experimented with some of them or have some at home. Maybe some are old, or maybe some are new. Whatever you already have, ignore for today. The point of today is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 14: Edge yourself

Orgasm and ejaculation are not the same. Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Understand the logic of “non-ejaculation”

If cuming, as a way of saying ejaculation, sounds like the best thing in sex to you… you are not alone: I reckon 99% of males think exactly that. The problem? Most men learn from puberty onwards that ejaculation and orgasm are the same. And that means you can’t have multiple orgasms immediately after each other. But… luckily that is simply not true. It just requires a bit of unlearning to figure out how to orgasm multiple times…

Most of the ancient techniques that teach men how to orgasm multiple times come from China, or more specifically from the Taoist teachings about sex. We will explore a bit more of these teachings over the next few days. Taoist views of sex are very different from the views mostly held in the “West”, which actually makes Taoist teachings about sex fairly sex-positive.

One of the key principles of Taoism is the reliance on different forms of energy. The most precious one? Jing (精), or sexual energy and essence, which is… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 13: Wanking and Masturbation

Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love. (Woody Allen as Alvie Singer) Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Celebrate having sex with yourself

Wanking or masturbation is a tricky topic for many, riddled with shame and guilt. Many people grow up to associate masturbation as an inferior replacement to having sex with someone else. Or worse, that having sex with yourself is deeply connected to evil, lust and sin, and therefore a ticket to go to hell straightaway. The problem with all of this? You’re missing out on having sex with the one person who totally understands you, is always horny when you are… and knows exactly how to make you feel right. At least if… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 12: Talking and Negotiating Consent

Sexual consent: I want you to … talk to me! Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Negotiating consent

Yesterday’s activity asked you to start negotiating consent, at least on a fictional level. Let’s recap quickly how consent works. Here are the five golden rules of consent:

1. If anything is ambiguous, stop it and don’t go any further.
2. Acting sexy, being naked, in a place where sex occurs, sexually active with someone else etc… all of this is not consent for you.
3. If either party can’t fully consent (under influence of alcohol, drugs, under age, unaware of the risks, etc..), there is no consent.
4. A previous consent does not mean a present consent – even in a relationship.
5. All boundaries are hard rules and not negotiable guidelines.

Many of these rules should be self evident, however,… [End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here:

Day 10: Let’s talk about sex

Sex is good but sex can be great! Click To Tweet

Today’s objective: Explore how to talk about sex with your partner.

Talking about sex is a difficult subject for many guys, at least when it means talking to your actual partner(s). While many guys find it relatively easy to express their wishes to strangers or on hookup apps, talking to their longer-term partner is a real sticking point; with potentially relationship damaging consequences. After researchers based in Canada had looked at different couples over nearly a thirty year period, their conclusions were daunting: even in long-term relationships, what sexual partners thought about what turned each other on, had fairly little to do with what they actually liked. Rather it was a reflection of their own sexual stereotypes.

Why do so many guys keep quiet? Shame, embarrassment, rejection, blame, confusion, jealousy … all seem to play a role when it comes to avoiding talking. The result though is that many couples avoid the talk – and either suffer, or sometimes decide to seek sex elsewhere. I have come across many similar stories like this one; for example:

[End of preview]

The full Sexual Discovery for Gay Men workshop materials  are now available as a soft cover book, ebook and directly downloadable PDF!

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery
and hot, playful learning!

Available from any good bookseller.
ISBN 978-1973779131 (soft cover)   978-1370218707 (eBook)
To order online see bookfinder  or Amazon:   US – UK – CADE – FRIT – IN – JP – BR

Or as a digital PDF download here: