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It’s great news and exciting news!

You probably noticed that it has been a little quiet on the urbangay website recently. This is because I was really busy with two great projects – and I’m excited to let you know more about them today – and more will be revealed over the next few weeks! Although there was more interaction as the curators for the @urbangay twitter account took over last month, now it is all back to me… so I’m looking forward to hearing from you! And here are the details of the exciting things that are happening in the world of urbangay: 1. The […]

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Day 21: Tantric Sex

Today’s objective: Create a tantric experience While Tantra often gets associated mostly with massage, tantric play can be much more between two or more lovers. The first and most important key to tantric play is that orgasm is not the objective. Rather, tantric play emphasises the intimate connections between lovers, through mutual touch, meditation, massage and sex. It makes sense that such a play session is not hurried, rather that it slowly evolves from the initial connecting phases to actual sex and climax. While the popular idea of three or more hours of sex is quite extreme, you can imagine […]

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Day 20: Prostate Massage

Today’s objective: Brush up on the male G-spot It’s probably a pretty open secret that a man’s most pleasurable body part is not the penis… but what lies behind the penis: the prostate gland, the male g-spot or the scared gland as some tantric practitioners call it. Whatever you call it, it is the gland that gives you the most pleasure when you bottom – or when you massage the scrotum. If you have never tried to locate the gland, it is also fairly easy to find. You can try it out either by yourself or on your partner: Insert […]

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Day 19: Tantric Genital Massage (Lingam Massage)

Today’s objective: Explore tantric massage techniques Tantric massage has achieved something of a nearly mystical status. And while it is an amazing ways to massage your partner, in the end, tantric massage is relatively similar to a gentle massage… with the exception of it ending up focusing on the penis (or lingam as it is called in Tantric circles). Of course, it is important to remember that, although there is focus on the penis, an actual orgasm is a bonus – but it is not the foremost goal of the massage. To start a tantric massage session make sure the […]

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Day 18: Tantra Breathing and Connecting

Today’s objective: Experiment with tantric connection Tantra, at least for gay men, has become synonymous for massage through the pioneering work of several writers and teachers who have adopted Tantra to gay sex. However, it is important to note that Tantra goes far beyond slow and intimate forms of massage: it is about connecting fully with the other person through breathing, touch and sex. In other words, it is about a deep and intimate connection. Tantra has some similarities to Taoist views about sex. Two particularly important similarities are that both use breathing extensively (though differently) and both consider the […]

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Coming 1 July: 30 Days Sexual Discovery

30 days of sex positive activities, self discovery and hot, playful learning! The free, 30 day of workshop will start 1 July, exclusively for urbangay members. Broaden your sexual horizon: experiment with new ways to play, discover ancient sex secrets and write your very own sexual manifesto! From multiorgasmic play to kink – it’s a journey like no other. Topics covered in the workshop: Develop a sex positive attitude Dealing with fear, shame and guilt How to “own” your sex Making consent sexy Taoist multiorgasm techniques Tantra intimacy rituals Toys, BDSM and public play Jealousy and relationships. I never really […]

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Tantra vs “normal” sex: What is the difference?

One of the most common questions I have been asked about Tantra is if it isn’t just a very drawn out and long sexual encounter, which is a common misconception. In fact, Tantra is a completely different idea than “normal” sex, largely because the “focus” and “objective” is different, which makes it a very different experience altogether. It is true that both forms of sex have some similarities – and in fact, start in very similar ways: e.g. by some sort of mutual attraction and stimulation. However, from the departure point onward, things get quite different. For “normal” sex, the […]

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