Three reasons to get active for every gay man

A guest post by Paul, who is the curator for the @urbangay twitter this week, follow him, interact and talk to him on twitter until Sunday! This week I’m taking over the @urbangay twitter account for a week. My interest is mainly in being healthy and active, and I think it is something really important. Not just because of the obvious and well-known health reasons (and making for better sex!). But there are three more reasons why it is especially important for gay men. Here they are: 1) It’s great to make you feel good Engaging in sports and eating […]

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30 Days of Sexual Discovery… Day by Day

Your hottest summer yet: 30 days of sex positive, playful learning – are you ready? Just a few more days before the online version of the Sexual Discovery workshop will start! Here is a sneak peak at all the topics for each day… so make sure you check back on the 1. July to start your personal journey of sexual discovery! Overview and Aims Sex Negativity Shame Fear Sex Positivity Your sexual routines Your fantasy scripts Owning your sex Learning about sex Talking about desires Consent seeking Talking consent Exploring masturbation Non-ejaculatory masturbation Taoist breathing techniques Taoist stop techniques Taoist […]

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Welcome to 30 Days for Self-love!

Welcome to the 30 Days Self-Love! Starting on the 1 May and over the next 30 days this program will focus on developing and fostering your self-love, as loving yourself is probably the most important thing you can do. Without loving yourself, it is hard to develop and keep good relationships, stick up for yourself and support others. But loving yourself is not as easy as it sounds: with the stresses of modern, daily life, especially as gay men, it is hard to find time and motivation to look at yourself and see how beautiful you really are. But not […]

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Day 29: Gains and Progress

Today’s objective: Review the personal journey you have made over the course of this program. Well done on reaching almost the end of the 30 day program! Before we review all of the key messages of the 30 days tomorrow, today is your opportunity of reviewing your immense personal journey that you have made. The most important thing is now that you keep up the great work that you have started. Making changes is never an easy process. You were probably used to doing things and seeing yourself in the old way for a very “I went from questioning myself […]

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Day 28: Coping Statements

Today’s objective: Identify a series of coping statements As the final step in building ways to deal with potential setbacks or problem situations on your way to a happier and more self-loving person, today’s focus will be on developing a set of coping statements. Coping statements are small, supportive sayings, ideas or quotes that help you through tough times. They are an example of positive self-talk, which you can recall when a situation gets challenging. There is really no “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” The full workshop with all activities […]

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Day 27: Strategies for dealing with problems

Today’s objective: Identify strategies to deal with potential problem situations. Yesterday you identified the Top 5 most impactful potential problem situations, either as single situations – or a chain of events. Today’s activity will ask you to develop a strategy to deal with these. Now that you had some time to think about the situations, let’s think of ways to deal with them. You have probably already thought through a few potential solutions for the situations when you first wrote them down. Now it is time to commit to them, and think of End of the preview. “I went from […]

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Day 26: Identifying problem situations

  Today’s objective: Start to create resilience by identifying problem situations Wow! Before you even read any further, pat yourself on the back: the 30 Day program is almost over… and we have covered an amazing amount of material. If your head is spinning a bit at this moment, don’t worry: it will take some time for all the material and changes to filter through into your daily life. You may see the first benefits already: maybe you simply stop your thoughts sometimes and remember something from here. That is real progress. If this happens to you, congratulate End of […]

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Day 25: Challenging negative assumptions

Today’s objective: Identify unhelpful assumptions and develop a strategy to challenge unhelpful assumptions Yesterday’s thought diary is a very powerful tool to help you face situations where your are feeling anxious about what will happen. Challenging these situations is important as it helps to correct unrealistic predictions – especially in as far as the reactions of others are concerned. However, reactions of others are only half the story: the other half that leads to End of the preview. “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” The full workshop with all activities is […]

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Day 24: Thought diary

Today’s objective: Learn to challenge unrealistic expectations using a thought diary approach You have probably already realised how many predictions related to body image, but also other predictions for situations where you fear being judged in some form or feel ashamed, are actually not based on reality or any evidence. Rather, they are based on the fear of something happening. Today the focus is on learning a highly effective way of dealing with such situations by using a Thought Diary [PDF] End of the preview. “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” […]

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Day 23: Body image issues’ long term consequences

Today’s objective: Think about the long-term consequences of body image issues and how they can lead to cycle of shame and fear. Over the last few days of the program you have already worked out a number of ways in which you are likely to respond to fearing judgement based on your appearance. You have also already End of the preview. “I went from questioning myself and self doubting to building love for myself. Thank you!” The full workshop with all activities is available as a digital download directly from here or buy the book now from any good bookseller. […]

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