Mindfulness, sexuality, tantra, fun and fitness for gay men


Day 18: Using Mindfulness to develop your life vision and mission

After yesterday’s activity, today we use blue sky thinking to create a vision and mission statement for yourself. Today has two activities to create the vision and mission: one “rational” one, one based on meditation. Depending on what type of person you are and if you are more emotional or thought driven, you can do either of them first. If you consider yourself more thought-driven and rational, then start with the first exercise. If you are more emotional, or indeed find the thought of rationally developing in a vision for yourself too challenging, you may find it easier to start […]

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Day 17: Using meditation and mindfulness as guides: life choices

Yesterday you created lists of activities based on if you perceive them as either nourishing or depleting. That exercise should have helped you to delve into more detail of the here and now in your life, giving you a inventory of where you stand at this moment. Importantly, you should have been able to identify themes in your life: groups and types of activities that enrich you. Today, it is time to take a helicopter perspective: the aim for today is to try and look forward, taking some the nourishing themes with you going forward – and minimising the depleting […]

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Online Workshops

The “30 Days” series is a series of online workshops, with small daily activities designed for gay men to live a more fulfilled, purposeful and sexier life. All the “workshops” are a mix of small daily activities, information and inspiration around a set topic, helping you kickstart in 30 days. They are posted online and free on the blog on the dates below. After the first “live run” on the blog has finished, they are made available as a PDF-download in the form of a workbook. To avoid missing out on the “30 days”, please register for the newsletter!   […]

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7 Tips for kickstarting the Best Year …ever – even if you gave up on your resolutions

So how has your start of the year been? Mine has been a bit rocky – and new year resolutions are awesome… but often turn out hard to keep (and some may turn out to be quite a stupid idea to begin with). However, there are a few things that can really make this year a happier, healthier and more fun year for you. So here are a few tips (mostly based on the urbangay happiness challenge). Learn a new language. Many language courses start in February (for example at many universities). That is an ideal way to rewire your […]

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Tantra vs “normal” sex: What is the difference?

One of the most common questions I have been asked about Tantra is if it isn’t just a very drawn out and long sexual encounter, which is a common misconception. In fact, Tantra is a completely different idea than “normal” sex, largely because the “focus” and “objective” is different, which makes it a very different experience altogether. It is true that both forms of sex have some similarities – and in fact, start in very similar ways: e.g. by some sort of mutual attraction and stimulation. However, from the departure point onward, things get quite different. For “normal” sex, the […]

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The 2017 Fitness Challenge

Are you ready to get fit in 2017? If so… then here is the 2017 Fitness Challenge for you! OK… it is a small challenge with a gentle start. The basic premise is to build up to running the Lisbon Half Marathon in March, although you obviously don’t have to run the actual race in Lisbon to be part of the challenge (although it is a pretty neat ‘excuse’ to visit Lisbon, in case you need an excuse!). The challenge is a simple three days a week running – and twice fitness to take care of the rest. Two rest […]

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Surviving (not just the holidays) on hook-up apps

Home for the holidays and in need of a quick getaway from the family? Luckily there is an app for that… Grindr, Scruff and co can be great fun and add some variety to your sex life  but it can be also be frustrating experience. So here are 3 tips to make the best of it: Know what you want This should determine the app you use. Go with the reputation of the app: Grinder is mostly for casual sex – apps like Tinder, OKCupid etc are more for dates. Yes, there are people who find love on Grindr, but […]

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Let’s talk about Sex (and create a Sex Wish List!)

Holiday season is just upon us… So this week I’ll give you some tips for how to talk to your partner about sex – and create a sex wish list – for not just a holiday season to remember. Wish lists are great things – from the old fashioned list of things to do to Amazon wish lists, lists help us stay focused and organised. However, when it comes to sex, few people have a wish list outside of their head. So why not use this holiday season to create a sex wish list for you and your partner? Many […]

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6 Reasons to try Tantric Sex

Last week I wrote about the benefits regular meditation has on your sex life. This week I’ll expand this to write about the benefits that combining elements of meditation and sex has, in the form of tantric sex – not just for gay guys, of course. Expand your sexual repertoire We live in a fast world: fast food, fast sex. Sadly, when it comes to sex, we are constantly exposed to forms of quick and rapid hookups and sex: just think of the average porn scene – from undressing to orgasm in five minutes. No wonder we have become “fast […]

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Meditation… and Sex

Last week I wrote about the benefits of exercise for sex. And while moderate exercise will make your sex more fun,  meditation can add even more enjoyment to your sex life… Here are 5 reasons why: Being in the moment this is probably the biggest benefit: meditation teaches you to focus on the moment. During mediation that is usually the breathing or the voice if you follow guided mediation…  Once you master the technique, you can obviously use it in other scenarios: really feel the sexual contact that you have – rather than thinking what you need to do tomorrow. […]

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