As said yesterday… today we will talk about some basic rules to make the bootcamp work – and some more overarching principles for the urbangay lifestyle.
To start off, here are the three simple rules for the next few days. The rules are not there to make things complicated – and I don’t think they are overly complicated. Instead, they are designed to be easy, simple and to help you get the most out of the bootcamp experience, for you and for everyone else who is ‘bootcamping’.
1) You can only fail if you give up.
This is hopefully pretty straight forward: there is no way to fail the bootcamp. At least not if you give it a try. The bootcamp is structured in days, but don’t let that stop you from going back or staying with one activity for a few days. The bootcamp is all about you. You decide. This also means that:
2) There is no right or wrong way.
Because we are all different, we like different things, and dislike different things. What makes it interesting is that we have different perspectives. Respecting different views is important during the bootcamp and in the urbangay community. Because of this…
3) Your opinion is valued, please share it
Share what you think. We are all in the bootcamp together. If you like something, why not comment on it? If you improved an exercise, please share it with the others. I love to hear your feedback, and I’m sure everyone else will appreciate to see how different participants feel. So… let’s share, be social and learn from each other.
Secondly, I invite you to think beyond the bootcamp. I’m “borrowing” these five principles from the general Buddhist ethics (I’m sure you will agree they are quite similar to other ethics). As promised, you don’t have to subscribe to this perspective, they are not part of the programme. But I invite you to reflect on them – and adapt them according to what you feel comfortable with. They are, after all, guides that make life easier and more enjoyable. Importantly, these are not rules or tick boxes. They are, in the Buddhist tradition, simply aims to live by. There is no shaming or blame involved if you feel you have failed. People have flaws. The Buddhist tradition simply asks you to acknowledge that you have failed and try to do it better next time.
1. Don’t kill – or cause harm.
2. Don’t steal.
3. Avoid false speak.
4. Avoid intoxication.
5. Don’t misuse sexuality.
1 to 3 should be pretty straight forward (I acknowledge, you can have a long discussion about them, but let us just accept them for the time being as given and the way you interpret them). 4 and 5 are more open to interpretation, particularly in terms of the bootcamp. As with 1-3, I invite you to use your own judgement when interpreting these for you. For example, traditionally, avoiding intoxication is interpreted often rigidly in terms of drinking or drugs. For me personally, I interpret this as not just referring to substances – but also to other forms of intoxication: for example, (mis-)information and other things that “numb” the mind. On the other hand, I don’t interpret this for me as something that prohibits alcohol, but rather that cautions not to over do it (and I’m sure you’ll agree… , trying to be mindful, do exercise or just about anything with a massive hang over is not going to work.). Similarly, I would interpret ‘misuse sexuality’ as meaning using sexuality to deceive or manipulate, including, of course, making sure sexuality is practiced only with consent.
I hope these three rules for the bootcamp – and the five principles to think about are a good foundation.
We also need to bear in mind, this is a journey we are taking together, and what has brought us here together: Lives that may have been lacking “that certain something”, or maybe just being curious about if there isn’t a better or alternative way. Something more fulfilling then what we have now.
Thus, let us combine all of this, together with all the topics and objectives of the bootcamp, into one easy “manifesto for the urbangay” (of course, you don’t have to live in an urban area. You are welcome to be an urbangay no matter where you are!). Something to guide the rest of the program and to define how we are growing as human being, during and after the program. So here is my “draft manifesto for the urbangay”… please remember to contribute and amend it how you see fit.
1. We are the urbangays.
We seek fulfillment through love, purposeful action, happiness and sexual expression with kindness, affect, freedom and respect for ourselves and each other. We use mindfulness, meditation, love and sexuality to create a fairer, happier and healthier world.
2. We are a community.
We come from different backgrounds, this is our strength. We are inclusive, diverse and welcoming, bound by the love and respect that we share for each other, united by our core principles. We support each other with kindness and generosity, with love and affection.
3. We embrace vulnerability and reject the perfect.
We acknowledge that nobody is perfect and everyone is vulnerable. We welcome our imperfections as showing us ways to grow and acknowledge ours and others vulnerabilities as possibilities to give and receive comfort and joy.
4. We live a fulfilled, purposeful life.
We may have different paths and objectives, giving us the opportunity to respect each others rights to live a fulfilled, purposeful lives, supported by the love, care and kindness of our fellow urbangays.
5. We have the right to ecstasy and to give and receive pleasure freely.
We have different forms of expressing sexuality and sexual identity, and we respect and cherish this, acknowledging everyone has the right to give and receive pleasure and experience ecstasy in a way they seek.
So… tomorrow we will finally get going. I hope you’re as excited about this as I’m! … See you tomorrow for the first activity introducing mindfulness.
But before we go, why not share the bootcamp with your friends?