Today we are venturing away from tantra to masturbation, or really how we should call it, self-love. Many men have an unhealthy attitude towards sex: they have grown up with the idea that sex is something to be hidden away. Sexual desires are something to be tamed and having sex “just for fun” is seen as animalistic*. Especially so, if men are doing it only with themselves with no other purpose than to enjoy themselves by themselves.
Following the philosophy that it is best to confront shame and fear head on, today I ask you to be daring when it comes to hiding your secret ways of having fun with yourself. Instead, share it with a regular partner. Please do not share it with a stranger (e.g. In a cruising ground), the explicit focus of today is to confront the shame often associated with masturbation.
The activity for today is therefore to invite someone to watch you wank.
This may seem a daunting task, but try to give it a try. Don’t try and integrate wanking yourself into any sexual activity today. Instead make the other person watching you the main focus of your sexual activity today. In other words, put on a show for the person. If this is a regular sexual partner for you, he maybe learning a few new tricks or areas where you touch yourself. Afterwards, remember to speak about the experience with him: what was surprising for him. If he hasn’t shown you himself wanking, talk about the differences. In other words, go all out and first show and then talk about how you make yourself cum, what you like, where you want to be touched.
I know this activity might push a few boundaries for you today. If you feel highly uncomfortable, explore your boundaries around the subject and ask yourself if there are ways you can overcome them.
Tomorrow we will explore gentle touches in a massage activity. You may want to invite the person you shared today with tomorrow again. Especially as you may have learned quite a few things about what that person likes!
* The idea that sex for fun is something animalistic is, by the way, a complete myth. The majority of animals don’t have sex for fun or recreation: the majority of animals have sex only or almost exclusively for reproduction. Sex as something enjoyable and re-creative is virtually absent from the animal kingdom.